A Site of Beef by Ann-S-Thesia
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10/29/2000 - 11/04/2000
11/05/2000 - 11/11/2000
11/12/2000 - 11/18/2000
11/19/2000 - 11/25/2000
11/26/2000 - 12/02/2000
12/03/2000 - 12/09/2000
12/10/2000 - 12/16/2000
12/17/2000 - 12/23/2000
12/24/2000 - 12/30/2000
12/31/2000 - 01/06/2001
01/07/2001 - 01/13/2001
01/14/2001 - 01/20/2001
01/21/2001 - 01/27/2001
01/28/2001 - 02/03/2001
02/04/2001 - 02/10/2001
02/11/2001 - 02/17/2001
02/18/2001 - 02/24/2001
02/25/2001 - 03/03/2001
03/04/2001 - 03/10/2001
03/11/2001 - 03/17/2001
03/18/2001 - 03/24/2001
03/25/2001 - 03/31/2001
04/01/2001 - 04/07/2001
04/08/2001 - 04/14/2001
04/15/2001 - 04/21/2001
04/22/2001 - 04/28/2001
04/29/2001 - 05/05/2001
05/06/2001 - 05/12/2001
05/13/2001 - 05/19/2001
05/20/2001 - 05/26/2001
05/27/2001 - 06/02/2001
06/03/2001 - 06/09/2001
06/10/2001 - 06/16/2001
06/17/2001 - 06/23/2001
06/24/2001 - 06/30/2001
07/01/2001 - 07/07/2001
07/08/2001 - 07/14/2001
07/15/2001 - 07/21/2001
07/22/2001 - 07/28/2001
07/29/2001 - 08/04/2001
08/05/2001 - 08/11/2001
08/12/2001 - 08/18/2001
08/19/2001 - 08/25/2001
08/26/2001 - 09/01/2001
09/02/2001 - 09/08/2001
09/09/2001 - 09/15/2001
09/16/2001 - 09/22/2001
09/23/2001 - 09/29/2001
09/30/2001 - 10/06/2001
10/14/2001 - 10/20/2001
10/21/2001 - 10/27/2001
10/28/2001 - 11/03/2001
11/04/2001 - 11/10/2001
11/11/2001 - 11/17/2001
11/18/2001 - 11/24/2001
11/25/2001 - 12/01/2001
12/02/2001 - 12/08/2001
12/09/2001 - 12/15/2001
12/16/2001 - 12/22/2001
Saturday, November 11, 2000
More fake-O cable channel slogans:
Don't remember my dream last night, dangit. I think I dreamed in html or browser, though.
I just realized we have six pairs of shampoo/conditioners in the bathroom. Is that eccentric? I think I have about 60 pairs of ChapStick/Bonne Belle/Blistex/Cheap Chapstick Rip Off/Assorted Natural Beeswax Hemp Oil No Petroleum Indie Brand Down With NAFTA Granola lip balm tubes. I collect them. I am eccentric. They inspired the Eyebalm site. I want to create a museum of Balm. Ever try Tiger Balm? It's Asian...it's like the heroin of Balms. I know some people who work for the Onion that have a Museum of Bathroom Tissue...The Madison Museum of Bathroom Tissue to be exact...it fills their apartment living room. Since the Onion is moving to NYC, they're in the process of disassembling it now (as says Tim who is good friends with these folks). I think balm is an easier thing to collect. It's smaller, prettier colors, and smells better, new or used. Can't say that about TP.
Friday, November 10, 2000
"The statistics for visitors from the last 62,893,205,771,224 minutes are not yet available."
I think someone should grab the domain name "HumanToiletDeath.com" quickly. At first it was shockingingly gross, but now I'm cracking up over it. Human Toilet Death. And they take a click on MY site...about a CAT...not about sexual fetishes or murder or snuff films or any of the other rot. Well, the other night after the bad Porterhouse, I felt like humantoiletdeath.
I have been suffering from severe absentmindedness lately. I forgot to post below that the Mini Annie-Warhol Gallery is based on my previous Annie Warhol Gallery that I started back in 1996 on my first site. (I'm not giving the URL because I abandonned it in 1998 and the cyber property is condemned...electrical wires exposed...shutters falling off...vermin...it's a mess.) Maybe if you're a real old timer, you'll remember it. I've often thought that I'd like to start it up again, but not at that old site, plus I'd do it a different way.
This is gross! I was looking at my referrers to my Eyebalm site. I found that someone had searched on Italian-language Google for "human+toilet", "death". My site is "Risultati" (result) #21! Can you believe it? Well, I didn't until I clicked this
New Stuff: I added a little mini-linkware/gallery feature to this blog. Will try to change it weekly. I would love to have my visitors submit their faces for the mini gallery. See the left sidebar for details.
Actually, Becky, we were rock stars in our other life...or was that other universe?
Honestly, I miss rock stars. Everyone in music lately looks like geeks or nerds or auto mechanics or doofuses or pro wrestlers or inmates. I want rockstars, dammit. I know that it was the thing to be anti-rockstar back in the 80s because if you were pro-rockstar you were either a dinosaur or went for all that hair farmer junk. But there's just something lacking in music lately (I won't even get into musical content or lyrics) as far as style, flair, and sensuality. I say that it's time for the retro clock to take another swing the other direction. I think it's about time I watch Velvet Goldmine again. I'm an old fart.
I woke up and was bummed that I hadn't had a dream, but I fell back to sleep and had a quickie:
Thursday, November 09, 2000
You know how cable news networks like to create slogans for certain news stories like Fox's "Terror in the Rockies" for the Columbine, CO incident? I wonder what they'll do for the election situation?
The Election that Wouldn't Die?
The way it's going, Bill Clinton will not be packing to join Hillary any time soon. Someone called up WPR this afternoon saying Clinton masterminded it all so that he could get a 3rd term. Unlikely, but it makes good speculative conspiracy theory fiction.
I just heard that there's protests in the street in Palm Beach! Many of the retired citizens are angry about the ballot thing. Go seniors!
Wow, I actually have respect for the man! I may not agree with much of Pat Buchannan's politics at all, but at least he seems HONEST. I just heard he was interviewed on the Today Show and he was having a really hard time believing those votes down in Florida were intended for him because he hardly campaigned there. Seems like Buchannan has a little bone to pick with the Republicans, eh?
This is kind of funny...I heard that if Gore requests a revote in Florida, Bush will request a recount of the Wisconsin votes. Although I'm glad the state I live in went for Gore, duh...if Gore gets Florida, Wisconsin won't help Bush win. Do the math, Georgie Boy.
Oh geez... this chicken annecdote is just tooooooo funny!
I had a dream early this morning while the Tom Clark show was on the radio. I guess I was hearing people calling in and Tom Clark going from caller to caller which is what subconsciously influenced the dream: I was in a class or something and kept raising my hand because I wanted to voice my opinion on a topic we were talking about (forgot what it was) but the professor kept skipping over me, even though after each person finished talking I was obviously about to say something, and when I start to say something he looks over me and goes on to another person. When he gets to another person who's already had their turn, I get really indignant and start to yell and cuss at the professor.
Now that I'm *15 years* out of college, it's good to see I'm finally getting over my test anxiety dreams and moving onto another level. Graduate school seminar anxiety dreams. 7 years too late.
Wednesday, November 08, 2000
As someone who voted for Gore, Stan says, "If Bush wins, Nader will not cost Gore the election. The electoral college will cost Gore the election."
It amazes me, that after staying up later than I did, Peter Jennings and George Stephanopolous (sp?) can seem so coherent, while I'm a hallucinating fool (the damn two-headed siamese twin president elect sci fi horrorshow monster is still spinning around in my noggen) with no energy, droopy eyes, hoarse throat...etc. You know the scary killer in Fargo (not the Steve Buscemi character...the other one...the tall blond one)...the way he stared and looked vacant with heavy lids? He looks like the way I feel I look like, a much shorter, feminine version, of course.
One of the Halloween costumes I was thinking of doing one of these days was the pregnant policewoman from Fargo. Too hard pulling it off though... This past Halloween I went as a flapper. I think I looked pretty good, despite the fact that my hair's too long for a flapper. Can't wait for the pictures to turn out. I still have several years worth of Halloween pictures I've wanted to publish over the years, but never got around to scanning.
Here's the rundown for the last few Halloweens:
Next year: Continuing in Stan's trend of dressing as the opposite sex, I want him to either be Barbara Bush or Tipper Gore....depending. I don't know what I'll be.
Here's a thought...Let Gore be president for the states that went for him, Bush be president for the states that went for him. It could be the union and the confederate all over again!
This is just too surreal. Doesn't it seem like someone died or something? Or like there was a great disaster? I keep envisioning the two-headed Siamese President Elect trying to wrestle with itself like some bad horror sci fi flick.
Yeah! My littlest newt ate a Newt Bite, a S(t)inking Pellet Formula! Now if there's just a way to stop the four fat Eastern Newts to stop hogging all the maggots, as I don't think I can find a little newt treadmill. Hey, I never promised conventional blog topics. Want to see a good newt link? (with an aquarium set-up to die for)
They're discussing the Florida situation on NPR right now. A caller suggested a re-vote and the host, Juan Williams, agreed with him. Hey, I guess my ideas aren't as far off as I thought they were.
Florida, Florida, Florida, like we haven't had Florida in the news enough already this year with the Elian thang.
I know that the quibble about the candidate's names being too close together on the ballot and people accidentally voting for Buchannan instead of Gore may sound absurd to some, but take it from someone who is having vision problems (haven't been able to wear my contacts due to their degradation of my corneas...seeing a specialist the 17th)...this does not seem impossible. I can see where this could accidentally happen if someone can't see too well, or if you have astigmatism. Even before I had to resort to wearing my defective glasses w/2-year old prescription full time instead of my contacts, I had to have Stan read me the fine print on various forms and things. And considering the amount of elderly in Florida, this could be a very real concern.
From the "I know I've complained about this before but I just can't help myself department: For the love of Gloria Steinem will telemarketers puhleeeeeeze stop recruiting phone solicitors from the 19th century? I was feeding the dogs this morning downstairs and my answer phone is upstairs by my computer--more convenient that way when I'm working--and the phone rings. Considering the time (9 am or so) and the circumstances of the political scene today, I thought it might be Stan calling me from his early work break to let me know about some breaking news. But no. It was:
(silence) now that's always a good sign
What is WITH people? This has been a BIG peeve of mine from as long as there's been telemarketing and Stan and I have been together (which ironically seems to originate around the same time...early/mid 80s). Why are women who came of age with Women's Liberation in the 60s giving rise to naive little offspring that know no protocol about women keeping their original surnames? ("Maiden" names sounds so....ishy...and sexist). Instead of calling me "Mrs. Starbuck," a simple "Ma'am" would do fercryingoutloud.
Sometimes I play with them and tell them Mrs. Starbuck is his mother and she lives in Colorado. That really throws their spinning brains into "searching for file that cannot be found" mode.
On a serious topic...(really...I'm totally serious about this, please believe me...there is no sarcasm in the following paragraph)
Oh this is just bizarre. It's as if the voters actually made manifest a 2-headed monster Republicrat named Boregush. What progressive thinkers have been saying all along...it's not the Democrats and Republicans anymore...it's just one party. Their words, our words, my words, have created a monster, one single entity that is inextractible from itself. A siamese-twin that will take a team of expert vote counters in Florida to tell who gets the heart and other vital organs. I say, keep the monster intact, let it govern this way. This is what it has come down to. And let's go to proportional representation.
Tuesday, November 07, 2000
Hope, Pope and Dope. Stan, Tim and I have had a death bet going on for over 4 years now on who's going to die first. The winner gets to buy the others drinks (Stan and Tim have both stopped drinking because it bothers their sinuses so they'll just get coffee). Here's how it breaks down:
Stan's Pick: Bob Hope. Stan has always hated the humour of Bob Hope and his cronies.
For us it's just a silly little bet, but there are some out there that are serious about it. I know some might find this disturbing, so visit at your own risk: Dead Pool
Is it me, or does the internet seem especially slow today? My mind is slow, that's for sure. Well, maybe not GWBush slow (see link in post below), but just unusually slow, probably because of all the Nuprin I've consumed. I figured out I've been suffering with cramps for exactly 2/3 of my life. That's unreal. Sometimes I have penis envy...not for the want of one of those things, but for the UNwant of cramps. My nurse practitioner is always amazed..."You're on the pill and you STILL get cramps?" I'd sort of like a painkiller that still keeps your brain sharp. With the slowness of the internet and my mental blockage today, by the time I get to a site, I forget why I came. I think this is the first presidential election day I've had cramps on. Can't be a good sign.
I put on Green mascara today. Must've been a subconscious statement. I was thinking as I was applying it that I should've ironically put on silly colors like red, white and blue because it's voting day...really tacky...like people who wear xmas tree ornaments as earrings for the holiday office party. Didn't even think about what I was did until I saw a Nader sign this morning. I have lots of colors of mascara except pink. Can't find any pink.
What a dumbass. I was half asleep, but nonetheless heard something on the radio about the Shrub playing Clinton's former victory song, (The Fleetwood Mac one) on the last leg of his campaign, and then there's this scratch that goes across the record and it changes to "Won't Get Fooled Again" but they edit out the part where it says "Meet the new boss, same as the old boss." What a bunch of idiots. They can't even choose a song correctly. If you have to edit out lyrics to a song, then obviously it's the wrong song to begin with. Who thought of that bright idea. Maybe they should've chosen the Dead Kennedy's "Too Drunk to #*@k" and edit out the last word in that to "Too Drunk to Govern." Smarmy frat boy.
Weird dream that Stan and I was at some sort of luncheon with one of the Wisconsin Public Radio talk show hosts (Jean Ferracca?) and two other unknown people from the University Athletic Department. I don't know why we were there, and they were probably wondering why we were there. It was awkward. I remember sticking my hand in some blue gooey food stuff. Then I remember we had to go vote, but we were like where we used to live in Colorado on Grant Street, so we had to go vote at the little school a couple blocks away, but it was like we were on Mulberry Street instead because we were walking across the street...it was very confused. And it was at night, like late, after the booths closed.
Heh heh...the first day this month (first day in weeks, actually) Stan tries to check his personal email account (which does NOT go through my plethora of accounts which I check many times a day), my host is fixing their servers. It's actually very funny considering the circumstances. I could go into it, but it's very late and there's a LONG story behind it. I'm not laughing at Stan, in fact, he's laughing too. "Oh well, I *TRIED* to check my email, but the server was down..." All I can say is that when "friends" have been told that going through Stan takes a long time and that the best thing to do is go through me because I answer my email promptly, but they still go through Stan (obviously they don't want ME to read it), then they can expect a really late response.
Monday, November 06, 2000
I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer when it comes to editing my blog online and having it turn out picture perfect when I publish it, but I'm pretty darn good at coming up with "workarounds-for-morons." (Yes, I'm a code moron). If you're like me (you can use the word "imbecile" if "moron" offends you) and like experimenting with blog layouts, adding new features and whatnot, but fear what will happen to it when you hit the "publish" button, why not get two blogs? Keep one as your "real" or "live" blog, the other as a testing ground for your little experiments. Copy your template from your main blog to your test blog and edit it there, leaving the real blog intact in case you accidentally create a monster. No one will have to see your boo-boos again!
It seemed like forever for me to put these out...they took a lot of work. They have frames in the lower case and the upper case versions have matching motifs that can be tiled together to make borders or dividers. Cool, huh?
"Hey Stan, did you get the crablegs?" YES! I hope Tim's up for going out with us tomorrow after he votes...I would like to get smashed and watch the election results. I will probably become severely depressed, I'm afraid. I'm still torn who to vote for, as I'm sure other people with my political persuasion are....vote for major party or minor party? Be "practical" or vote my "conscience?" I've never been this frustrated about voting before.
You know, I had a dream about Al Gore...I can't remember when it was, but it was before this election. I think I was sitting on his lap in my dream. Recently (like within the last several weeks) I had a dream about Ralph Nader...went to visit him at his bachelor pad. He went to fix some drinks in the kitchen. He had a large dog like a Great Dane or something that kept jumping on me. Why the hell do I dream about Presidential Candidates and Politicians? I mean, yeah, I think about politics and our future, but it's not like I have sexual fantasies about them! Geez! (OK, so Russ Feingold is cute, and that's all I'll say on that) But why do I dream about THEM? (And not people I actually DO have sexual fantasies about?)
Eyeblog of Newt: I couldn't get the littlest newt to eat a maggot this morning. He bapped at it, even wrestled with it in his mouth, but ultimately did not eat it. I feel like a failed mother.
These maggots really aren't gross at all. They're not like dogpoop maggots...they're clean, farm or factory raised and bought through a bait shop and come packaged in a neat little container with sawdust. Actually the first batch we got we thought were kind of cute..."Oh, look, it has little eyes..." Those eyes actually turned out to be its butt. What do we know of maggot anatomy? I can deal with maggots, but you know what I can't deal with? Earthworms. They hhhhhuuuhhzzzzhhhh me out. We have a package of bait shop earthworms in the 'fridge that we got one of the first days we got the newts (the newts were being given away free at a pet store, so we did a Newt Rescue) and we feed them to them every once in a while. I like to give them a balanced diet. I dunno...sounds healthy, even if I am anthropomorphising newts a little too much. I feed them "Newt Bites, "a sinking pellet formula" as it says on the package....should be "stinking pellet formula"; freeze-dried tubifex worms, which only the fire-belly newt really has the hang of so far; maggots; crickets, which are hard to feed, not only because the newts are pretty much water animals and the only way for them to find the crickets is if the cricket were to start drowning, and darn it, crickets are tooooo cute to be food; mealworms, which are supposed to be rather fattening, and of course, earthworms. See, when I was a very little kid, I used to play out in the dirt a lot, building mud pies and the lot. Earthworms were my friends. I loved earthworms. Then I had two freaky worm epiphanies. One was when I dug a really deep hole, left to go somewhere else, and when I came back there was this humungous earthworm near the hole. I don't really know if it was an earthworm--it could have been a small snake or a millipede--it was about six inches long but the thickness of a small finger with a yellow belly. I ran screaming. The other time was when I was playing with an earthworm and it decided to wrap itself around my pinkie finger. Freaked me out. Ran screaming. To this day, I act like a priss with earthworms. These worms we have to slice up because they are too large for our newts to swallow whole. The disembodied segments keep moving. Oh this is so joyful. But I guess I'd rather be Worm Slicer than Cage Cleaner, which is Stan's job. The newts are worth it. They're such cute little things...like little cartoons. We used to have newts when we lived in Colorado, and even moved a newt or two out here to Madison. One of them lived about 9 years...who knows how old it was before we got it.
Strange dream last night or perhaps it was early this morning. I was looking at pictures of myself from my late teens/early 20s and my face was really thin and tan (which it never was) and my hair was short (which it was then) and bleached artificially blonde (which it wasn't at that time). I didn't look like myself at all, but I sort of like the way I looked (except for the tan). No, I'm not going to cut my hair.
Sunday, November 05, 2000
I can't forget to watch The X-Files tonight after about a half a year of not watching the reruns from last season. I don't know...it's lost its magic. And what with Mulder appearing less this season...what's the use? I hate network TV. After Seinfeld left, X-Files was the only network show I watched. I like cable...Bravo, Discovery, TLC, Animal Planet (except for that annoying Steve guy who I hope gets eaten by a large Croc), A&E, History Channel, etc., plus sometimes the retro channels can be fun when you want mindless entertainment like Mayberry & Beaver. We have something like 60 channels, but I wish we could get to choose which we want like a cafeteria plan where all the channels are treated like "premium" channels that you choose to have or not...or charge us for time spent watching, like with a meter. As it is, we can only watch one channel at a time anyway...why pay for 60?
My parents still don't have cable. They still don't have an answer phone, both of which I find annoying. I shouldn't care...I only visit them like once every other year or so, and it's difficult to watch tv anyway because they're getting in their Beethoven hearing years (I'm approaching my Pete Townshend hearing years myself, though) so it's a bit LOUD for me. Plus their choice of shows aren't mine. They're not stupid choices, like bad network sitcoms, but there's only so much I can take of Masterpiece Theatre. That's why I won't watch it today...my parents watched too much of it when I was young. But the reason Stan and I broke down and got cable when we moved to Madison was because the reception was horrible without it. And it's getting that way with my parent's reception. It used to be very clear, but over the years, what with the crowded airwaves, it's deteriorated quite a bit. But they don't really notice it. Sort of like the frog initially placed in a pot of cold water on a stovetop that doesn't realize it's slowly boiling to death.
My mom does have an iMac and internet access though, which is actually pretty cool, considering their typical antedelluvian reactionary living mode. (I should talk...my lifestyle is pretty much mid-20th century except for cable tv and my computers) That's the reason why I won't publicize this blog on any of my main pages, if you know what I mean. Who needs that stress.
Stupid beyond stupid dream last night: Someone got me some bachelorette playing cards that were animated. I don't even want to think about it.
I'm so embarrassed about what a horrid mess this blog was in last night before I got the inspired idea, "Hey, dumbchick, check it out in Netscape, will ya?" Egads...eyeballs all over the place. I wish Netscape would fix their browser...make tables more intuitive, like if you have a nested table, which is in essence "over" the table that it's inside of, and said nested table has a table color fill, wouldn't it logically hide any table background image of the table it's inside? It does in Microsoft Internet Exploder. But noooo... Also, Netscape's slow as molasses. But MSIE is buggy, and Outlook Express crashes a lot on my G3; unfortunately, it's the best we've got. Pathetic, huh?
OK, I'm over the bad Porterhouse, I've got my newbie blog problems worked out (I hope) so I will try and be productive today. Gotta work on some dingbats.
Copyright 1996-2001 Ann Stretton. All Rights Reserved. No part of this web log may be copied or reproduced, however text may be quoted if a link is given in return. Permission is not given under any circumstances to use any of the graphics or art on this site, however If you ask first, I may grant permission at my discretion. Please check the link above to my Ann-S-Thesia site for web graphics if that is what you need.